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| Photo credit : Northward.cc |
He/She may a cutie, a visionary, a home keeper, and might have fulfilled all or almost all the traits you want on your future Spouse list, but if they don't have a relationship with God, that's not "the Only Problem" that's "A Big and Dreadful Problem".
If we are very comfortable with only accepting Jesus Christ as our Lord and personal saviour but won't live for Him and are unwilling to grow in the knowledge of Him what's the point? We are then like the tree that doesn't bear fruit and what did Bible say would happen to us? We shall be cast away - Matthew 7:19.
Note that there a difference between someone who is willing to learn from God, shun sin and grow in Christ and someone who is just unbothered.
You are in love with him /her but you haven't stopped to ask yourself questions about their lives and what that means for you in your walk with God?, let's go through these few checks [ it's a state of the heart and can hopefully change upon renewal of the mind through the word of God]
#1. No growth goal?
They are still wallowing in sin and they are okay with it because they preach "none is perfect" and they still convince you that they love God but in reality they are not ready to surrender to God. Know this, we worship God out of conviction because we know whom we have believed, and we flee from sin because we know the God we say we love hates it.
Mat 5:48- Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect. We are charged to be perfect because it's possible.
Heb 12:1-3 advises us to rid ourselves of sin and look unto Jesus the author and finisher of [our] faith.
#2. No love and reverence for God?
They don't want to have anything to do with praying and reading their Bible but they can spend hours on the phone and at the cinema with you, and that's okay?
They are not willing to fulfill "forsake not the gathering of the saint"? They refuse to tithe because they won't work into the pockets of a pastor? Dating you gives them the mandate to fornicate with you where as the God they claim to love said our bodies are His temple? So they love God but would disobey Him with no remorse?. They go to church because you asked them to go with you or because they want to be seen at Church.
The conclusion of the matter is to fear God and obey His commandments for this is the whole duty of man -Ecclesiastes 12:13
#3. Constant Lip Service & Eye Service?
They want you to believe that they love God based on the things they say but their hearts are far from Him, but what does God say about them? Mat 7:16 - Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?
And by their "fruits" you shall know them not their "gifts". So they can divide the sea and cause the clouds to fall flat on the ground but they don't have self control and are not ready to practice purity?
As Paul said "After I preach I discipline myself that I might not at the end be Disqualified" - 1 Corinthians 9:27.This should be the driving force to make them want to live right.
#4. They worship God in their heart?
Because of the question immediately above, they shield themselves with the popular "We worship God in our hearts". Anytime their attitude and actions are questioned, they say they worship God in their heart. So God asked that we worship Him in the heart, but didn't tell us to live right?
Pro 23:7- "For as he thinketh in his heart, so [is] he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart [is] not with thee" ; BUSTED!
Is the God in their heart asking that they act as such and represent Him badly to the world who are waiting on the sons of God to manifest the word of God?. They know very well the God in their heart has no idea about what they are doing so why attach His name to it.
#5. Is he/she angry at the church?
Are they constantly in a fight with the church and keep making remarks such as " The Pastor always takes offertory from the members, They lift their hands to pray as if they are holier than thou, All they do is Gossip, they won't even find out what the problem is". They are always finding excuses to skip church and are never satisfied with anything; it's not even Godly weeping for the Church, they just want to talk about everything. Their dissatisfaction can lead to bitterness because they keep complaining.
The church is the body of Christ, which we are. The building we all merge to worship God in is a hospital because everyone has their own sickness and Christ is healing us. Faith cometh by hearing and hearing the Word of God and that is why Christ told us not to forsake the gathering of the saint. If they don't have a reason to go to church, then the elders have a reason to pray for them.
#6. No affiliation -No responsibilities
The don't want to be held responsible for their actions?
Now that is the problem of some people; they are not ready to be tagged as Christians or to be seen going to church. If they want to freely smoke, fornicate, steal without anyone questioning them about being a Christian and knowing better, then they enjoy living in sin. We are the offspring of Christ so of course we are charged to live like Him and be responsible for our actions.
Are you guilty as charged? Be intentional with your walk with God, surrender FULLY to Him and let Him walk with you a day at a time. Renew your mind and guard your heart against all the above mentioned.
You are praying for them? That good because it goes a long way and one day they would encounter God in a special way but you need God's consent in this intercession; He would direct you. You believe you can change them? You are forcing the Bible down their throat and making them memorize a book a day? How far have you gone with the "change for Bae" project? It's because no one can change anyone. They would have to want to change, they would want to have to grow before any change can happen. When we love and care for people we think it's our responsibility to fix them but that's God's job; push them to Him.
If their heart is not right, things wouldn't be right no matter how long you have been together or intend to be so far as you want Christ as the foundation.
"Can two walk together? Unless they agree" -Amos 3:3.
Have I exhausted all the checks or there are a few you would love to add? I encourage you to share your thoughts in the comment section below.
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